I am back and I have this feeing that I should explain myself because it is 100% relatable. Before you read this, don’t come up with the idea to have petty on me, but with the idea that this happens to everyone. If you think about your life that you’ve lived, you most definitely should have a period in your life time where you felt the same.
This summer was one of the most stressful summers. I had to face some obstacles that I never thought I would have to face. However, I gave out this idea that I was fine all the time and not to say that I was not happy because I was, I just wasn’t all the time. Which is okay, however, it was more consistant. I worked 12 to 14 hours a day 7 days a week. I was stressed. However, I came into school thinking that maybe, just maybe, things would be different. That was not the case. I am just not happy with what has been occurring in my life lately and i just want to surround myself with people who actually care for me and support me. Sometimes the environment that we decided to surround ourselves is not the healthiest. I am currently in a state of life where I am not happy and there are times where I wish I could just go home and be with my family. I have come to the conclusion that Family will always be there when you need them.
Not only do I think I should not be in this state of mind that I am , but I believe I have lost the idea that i should be loving myself. I got caught up with pleasing others instead of myself and that is where I went wrong. People who truly know me, know that I struggle with who I chose to surround myself with. Sometimes its easier to give your attention to other people without seeing the respect given back. This is called being naive. Ignorance is bliss but whoever is ignorant is stupid. YES, I am calling myself stupd because I was ignorant to the tretament I was given. Everyone struggles at a point of their life and if you are like me, who puts everything to the side until you explode, then you know you are bound to have a breakdown that feels like it will last an eternity. I have been meaning to write this and as i am writing this right know, I am realizing that I am finally seeing that I am fed up and need to change my life.
I am back and you will catch me posting more. Also, catch me loving myself more. I hope people, that go through a hard time similar to my situation, come to the conclusion I came up with. People will mope around and expect change but honey, it is your life and you are the only one that can take charge. I love you guys and myself.