Many will tell me that I am too young to be preaching about the struggles I have faced. However, I am an old soul. Throughout high school, I have realized so much. I fell in love with someone who I saw so amazing. In my eyes, he was my world and I would have done anything he wanted. However, in the process of trying to love someone, I lost myself and my idea of what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. My relationship with my high school boyfriend was perfect and there was one serious moment that shifted the relationship. Sometimes things happen and fights occur. However, with every obstacle in any relationship, one should be cautious of what is happening because maybe just maybe that fight is supposed to be an eye opener. Sadly, I was so blinded in creating this “perfect” relationship that I lost myself. This toxic relationship wasn’t always so toxic. Obviously, I fell in love with my ex-boyfriend because I saw potential in him. He was so caring and he cared so much for me but that was not the case as time passed. After our big fight, he wanted to breakup and every time the topic of breaking up surfaced, I wanted to run away from this topic. For me, I cannot give up on someone I truly love. Not just for a partner but in any type of relationship., therefore, for this relationship I did not want to give so easily because I grew up thinking that you have to fight to the very end for the person you love. I am a hopeless romantic that was trying to reach for love.
Sadly, it took months for me to figure out that it was time for me to let go. I remember that day so precisely. I was in college, in my room with my friends. We were laughing and joking. I laughed with them but in the inside I was trying to find out why my boyfriend did not try to contact me for two weeks. I tried to call him and it went straight to voicemail. So I went to the bathroom and tried again. I ended up blowing up his phone with 12 missed calls. The 13th call, that was the call that hurt me the most. He was very blunt that he wanted to break up and this time I did not fight him not to break up with me. I had previous knowledge that he was “talking” to someone else and when I brought that up, he completely dodged the question. That was the moment that I realized I had to let go. The person I so deeply cared for did not feel the same way for me. If it was not for my roommate and my friends, I don’t know how I would have handled that situation. I was surrounded by people who truly cared for me, which was something new when it came to friends. That night, we burned all my memories with my ex. Not being I was trying to be petty, but because it was going to be closure. At first I was sad and then I went to having this built up anger. I believe that this anger was in me this whole time but after all that has happened, I finally showed it. I cried tears of anger but suddenly felt the amount of love I had from my friends. I am a huge believer that you should release any anger at the moment instead of allowing it to be pent-up. That is not healthy nor will it benefit you.
Now why am I telling you this? Because, one day this will be you. A tip for all girls reading this; Remember to love yourself first and don’t you ever lose sleep over a boy because if he truly cared, he would have tried to resolve the situation as well as never let you lose sleep. Boys will be dumb but remember to stand your ground and LOVE YOURSELF! Not only should you love yourself but also remember that every relationship is a lesson to be learned that can help you for your next relationship.
Thanks guys for reading! I hope you enjoyed my article.
-XOXO Ana Toledo